Beauty in Misery…
What is it with misery that when a man sees a woman wallowing in it he is immediatley drawn to her? Left wanting to know her, comfort her and somehow soother her off her pains? Does it add mystery, does it radiate a glow out of a woman's aura causing men mystified by it? It seems men get more interested in a woman when they learn she is in miserable and/or vulnerable.
Proof of what I'm yakking about here is this. Below is a poem that a newly-found guy friend of mine sent me thru SMS just the other day. Know that he's not the only one(believe me, there have been many!) I've met recently who's shown interest in knowing me more or tried even to save me from the 'hell' they think I am right now. Just bec. I'm damned miserable…
As I gaze outward,
I feel a sudden breeze,
cool yet brazenly strong,
egging me onward…holding me back
a tug of war for all time…
then I look inward, seeking solace
answers to questions asked from eons past
and I sense loneliness,
a fleeting fawn, passing slowly
the fawn has a lively gait
but has sorrow in her eyes
and a heaviness in her heart
must I approach this fawn
and hear her story…
This one made me laugh so hard my guts hurt! Yeah call me a bitch if you like, a 'cold-hearted bitch' even to add some flavor. But I just couldn't help it. Of all people I'm the last one I can think of that needs saving. Puh-lease!
Come to think of it, while writing this post it just hit me, like a stone to a brick wall. Just realized that maybe jst maybe, men are drawn to miserable women coz the need to be a 'savior' surfaces in them once they see a so-called helpless miserable woman. Admit it guys, there's a part in you that wants to be 'the hero' at the end of the day. Quite noble really but then for people like me, it's more of annoying borderline intruding.
You see I am the type of person who does not want to depend on anybody not even to those close to me. I am proud and I am stubborn, hard-headed to the point of unreason. I may be miserable but I don't need no saving, not even from 'Superman' himself no pun intended of course. I have always been capable of myself and always took my problems to myself, never opened up to anybody. And for some guy to try or even think they can bring me salvation much more retribution is one big freakin' waste of time for me. Believe me I don't need the saving much more a new boyfriend(last thing I need right now!) save it for somebody more miserable than me. I can manage by myself, thank you very much.
Now, if misery does add beauty and mystery to a woman, does that mean I am beautiful too, just coz I'm miserable?! hmm… Nah! Just an insane thought(humor me pls!)… haha 😉